We all affect others anyway. Why not affect them profoundly? Here are 10 proven ways to do this, all of which will make you a lot more attractive to others and to yourself.

1. Listen for and point out the special gifts, traits or talents of the other person.  Most people are listening for what they need from the other person. When you’re listening for what’s special or unique about a person — and point it out — you’ll very much affect them positively, with very, very little effort on your part. What if you did this during every conversation you had for the rest of your life?
2. Listen and respond-in-kind to the underlying emotion of the other person. Facts and information are valuable, but are rarely profound. What are profound are people, emotions and concepts. Next time you’re listening to your child, client or friend, feel what they are feeling and respond in kind to that, instead of just to what they are saying. Feelings are the fastest way to the person’s heart.
3. Deliver messages that can be remembered and retransmitted. The idea is that when you can package information, concepts or truth into nugget-sized packages, they don’t only land easily on the person you’re talking to, but that person can pass them on to others easily.  Have simple, worthwhile, intriguing things to say. It’s as simple as that.
4. Have so accepted and endorsed your worst weaknesses that others feel safe around you. A lot of attraction works without you having to ‘work it.’ It happens by itself, behind the scenes. And one of the ways to profoundly affect others is to be so ‘over yourself’ that they, too, can get over themselves. We’re all gripped by eye-popping fears and compelling desires, but when you’ve reached that place in life where you aren’t affected by any of this stuff because you’ve fully accepted your humanness, faults AND talents, then others can have the same experience of themselves.
5. Open up new worlds for people, in their thinking, feeling or priorities.  In other words, pull the rug out from folks whenever you can, but quickly give them a new chair to plop into on their way down. You can draw a missing distinction, question an antiquated assumption, challenge a strongly-held belief, plant a seed of a different crop, ask a strong inquiry-type question or give them words to express what they are barely able to sense.
6. Show others how to experience better what they already have.  The point of unhooking you from the future and focusing more on today is made elsewhere in one of the Attraction Principles. But that principle is the parent of this one – to show others how to better use and make more of what they already have, whether it be a problem or a gift. Most folks are so future oriented that they miss out on the opportunities staring right at them in the present. Be their eyes and ears for a minute and help them see the value of what’s already all around them.
7. Remind people who they are instead of just complimenting them on what they’ve done.
   Praise and acknowledgment is nice, but that’s a bit like telling your dog that his tail wags really well. Huh? The idea here is to focus on the person behind the accomplishment or problem.  It’s the fundamental distinction of whom vs. what. When you help the person get more in touch with who they are they’ll produce better “whats.”
8. Give people something meaningful to do.  I don’t understand why, but most people are pretty bored. They are waiting for something interesting and meaningful to do. It seems that most people are being drugged by television, thus live in a sort of an excited stupor, if that’s possible. So, if you’re someone who is up to something and are willing to include people in on your game or project, most people will get meaning from that — from being asked to play, but also by the game itself and the people they meet along the way. If you’re working on a project, OPEN IT UP and profoundly affect a lot of other people.
9. Give people the tools they need to improve and evolve. What tools do you currently have available to you that would profoundly affect others? Share all of them.
10. Don’t try to profoundly affect others.  Okay, I had to toss this one in here. The idea is that the objective here is not to profoundly affect others. Because that’ll get you into trouble, especially when they don’t want to be profoundly affected.  What you can do is to care for others and share the above stuff with those who want it. That way, ‘profoundly affecting’ others won’t become your cause, banner or reason for living. That would be pretty unattractive.

Carpe diem,

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You can either try to shake an entire lake to create ripples, or you can toss a pebble in and watch the ripple effect. In other words, don’t underestimate the value of seemingly unimportant details. I see a lot of agents and brokers focusing on the ‘important big picture stuff’ like strategy and numbers and trends. They’d be a lot smarter to focus on that stuff only 2% of the time and spend the other 98% of the time at the front lines, noticing and improving every single detail of their operations. 98% of time dealing with detail leads to one heck of a ripple effect.

Carpe diem,