I am asked from time to time why some do so well in this business and some, well, don’t. There are more than a handful of “secrets” but there are very few that are more important that mastering your relatioanl skills. In fact, there is nothing in this world that pays better, in every realm of life, than relational skill mastery. Here’s a few things to keep in mind as you go through your day.

“Learn to say ‘No’ to the good so you can say ‘Yes’ to the best”

We are faced with an unending and on-going influx of decisions.  We make thousands of them every day.  They arrange from the small to the much, much, more life-defining.  Most agents, who live each day in a people pleasing business, tend to say “yes” far too much.  They over-commit to others and as a result, sacrifice the things they most value.  Our families, friends and even our individual self tend to be put on the back-burner while we indulge the urgent before the important.  Yes, it’s important to work hard through the end of the year.  It’s important to finish well, to have good momentum going in to the New Year, to pay off the credit card bills that tend to mount in the Christmas Season.  But it’s essential to learn how to say “no” to the urgent so that you can say “yes” those that mean the most to you during this holiday season.

“Procrastination is failure on the installment plan.”

Why do we all seem to struggle with putting off the very things we know we should be doing, but don’t want to do?  Most of the time they are the very things that are the most important things we could be doing, those activities and tasks that make the greatest impact on our future. 

Procrastination boils down on a practical level to character and perspective.  A great test of our character is the ability to maintain a resolution after the mood it was made has passed.  We often make resolutions, decisions, and goals when we feel like it.  We are inspired, motivated, or driven in the moment to thoughts of grandeur, but when the mood passes, more often than not, so does our resolve. 

Most of our changing moods and feelings are due to a shift in our perspective.  Rarely has life or the world changed, we just changed the way we think about it.  As our perspective shifts, our emotions follow suit. 

Here’s an example: Have you ever seen a picture of yourself that is, well, less than flattering?  It seemed to show the few extra pounds in a way that you hadn’t ever imagined was on public display in such an unappealing way.  So, in a moment, your perspective changed.  The world around you hasn’t, the people around you haven’t.  You haven’t.  The only thing that has now become different is how you look and feel about something that already was. 

The secret to eliminating procrastination isn’t disciple and willpower.  Sure, those will last for a little while, but the real secret for those who are looking of lasting change is learning the art of managing your perspective.

“Some people change jobs, mates, and friends, but never think of changing themselves.”

Sometimes the only common denominator in a series of failures is us.  We as a society tend to point fingers and blame others instead of taking responsibility, the irony is that responsibility is the first step to the growth needed to overcome and turn failure into success.  Looking in the mirror and changing ourselves is one of the most difficult things we must do.  It takes courage to admit we are a contributing factor to the difficulties we face in our lives.  But if we don’t, we will experience the same cycle (only quicker this next time) again and again. 

I had an interesting meeting with an agent recently – one that has been a reoccurring theme over the last 18 months with agents across the nation.  We started the meeting under the auspice of setting goals, markers and expectations for the next 90 days.  We ended with tears, hugs and a new lease on life.

When you are traveling to a new place, there is nothing quite as unsettling as losing your way. It is a place of great anxiety and frustration (especially as a guy who refuses to ask for directions). It is only more amplified when the stakes are higher and the pressure is on. If you have lost your way in life, here are a few questions to get you back on track -
· Why are you alive?
· What are you most proud of having accomplished at this point in your life?
· If you were financially able to retire one year from today, what would you begin working on to prepare for that?
· What would you most like the people at your funeral to say about you, specifically?
· Who in history do you admire most, and why?
· If you could solve a world problem, what would it be? Be very specific, please.
· What is the inkling you have of your purpose or vision?
· What is in the way of putting this ahead of what you are engaged in now?
· If it weren’t important to have a life purpose, what would you most like to do in the next decade?
· Can you list three possible life purposes?