“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” – Thomas Jefferson
  

Your feelings are not your friend.  They will get you in trouble more times than not.

I’m not saying not to have them, just keep them in perspective.  If you get mad and rip into someone because you are angry or frustrated, you may feel like you won the battle, but you will have lost the war.  Don’t feel like prospecting?  Is it really better to go with that feeling, if you do where does it lead?  Most of us live on an emotional roller coaster, with our life, business and the service we offer our clients.  We do so at our own peril. 

Your feelings give color to your life, and they can be glorious and exciting.  They just shouldn’t dictate your actions.  As you paint the portrait of your life, your commitment and actions should provide the black and white outline of how you live while the color adds the vibrancy.  Reverse it and your life will look like a kindergartner’s version of the Michelangelo masterpiece your life was destined to be…

Most of the real estate community is stuck fishing for income. Living deal to deal and in feast or famine.

Almost all of life has a financial aspect to it. The surplus of it adds to yourpossibilities through opportunity and the laws of attraction. As they say “The rich get richer…” It’s true, but not because they have money. Wealth is a by-product of the way they think. If you change your thinking, your habits will change, your habits change and your account balances will take a turn for the better.

Here are a few questions to give a quick “check-up from the neck up.”

· How is your financial situation?
· How stable is your income stream?
· Do you live within, at, or beyond your means?
· Are you a natural saver or a habitual spender?
· How much credit card debt are you carrying?
· How much money is enough for you?
· What actions could you take that would double your current salary or profit?
· What mistakes do you seem to make with money?
· How much of a priority is making more money?
· What holds you back financially?

We are all guilty of not getting in right, the point is not to beat you up and have you start your day on a downer, but to remember what we need to focus on to make tomorrow a little brighter.

Here are a few things to give some thought to this week.

• Have nothing unresolved or unfinished.
• Get over any addictions and be healthy and well.
• Be a part of a full, successful, and happy community of people who love you as you are.
• Be able to verbally express your feelings, sensations, and prob­lems.
• Want a tremendous amount but crave nothing.
• Have life set up so you have really neat things, people or activities to look forward to all of the time.
• Know and live in your values.
• Have much more than you need.
• Have goals that turn you on.
• Have standards that are clear, and high.
• Have plenty of time.
• Be okay about and with yourself.
• No longer try to “make it” or prove anything.
• Working on a special project that is personally and professionally fulfilling.

If you haven’t read the book Made To Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath yet you should plan on picking it up today on your way home.  It is a great primer on how to generate buzz, convey ideas that last and how to maximize your advertising and marketing dollars.

One of the villains they talk about overcoming in the book is “The Curse of Knowledge.”  Usually we look at knowledge as a good thing (it’s pursuit would even cause me to go out and pick up this book for example) but many times it’s what we think we know or what used to work that kills us.  Take this market for example.  The fundamentals are still just as applicable as they were 30 years ago.  We still need to spend each day getting to know new people, negotiating contracts and finding willing buyers and sellers to bring together for a mutually beneficial outcome.  But HOW we go about doing that has changed a bit over the years (or year for that matter).   Our tactics and tools need to change and what we need to be constantly open to growing , learning and changing.

Every day, starting today, commit to growing in something that is tangible, measurable and meaningful.  Maybe it’s sharpening your skills, your knowledge about your industry or business, or looking at ways to stay ahead of the curve.  Take 15-30 minutes a day and watch what a difference that time makes in the next week, month and year.

“Fortunes are made outside of the 9-5″

I talk a lot about balance.  Balance at work, balance at home.  Life is much bettter all the way around if we keep boundaries and have strict standards.  Mainly because I work with the super producers who are in risk of losing what they love most because of their insane lifestyles.  As much as I think balance is good and healthy – the reality is that our life is a life of seasons.  In order to become a super-producer and be on the top of the heap, you must be willing to do what others won’t.  Becoming out of balance for a season is necessity to achieving the extra-ordinary.

The secret becomes including those you care most about in the process so they feel a part of what you are doing. Recognize when to be “on” and when it’s time to snuggle in by the fire and some warm cookies with those you love.  Remember, life is more of a marathon than the 50 meter race.

I had the privilege of being a part of a small audience a while back that got to interact with Dr. John Maxwell on his book, Today Matters.  He is an amazing speaker and an insightful master of the teaching craft.  If you ever have the opportunity to catch him live or pick up one of his many, many books, you won’t be disappointed.  Here’s some of the “nuggets” from that day -

•·         The secret of your success is discovered in your daily agenda.

•·         The greatest hindrance to today’s success is yesterday’s success.

•·         We exaggerate yesterday’s importance, we overestimate tomorrow potential and we underestimate today’s power

•·         Make everyday your masterpiece

•·         If you give 50% today, you can’t give 150% tomorrow.

•·         Most people don’t lead their lives, they just accept their lives.

•·         Successful people make important decisions early then spend the rest of their life managing those decisions

•·         You cannot manage a decision you haven’t made

•·         Don’t expect others to make you happy

•·         Take responsibility for your attitude

•·         People don’t pay for average

•·         Attitude controls possibilities, it’s the difference maker

•·         Grow every day

•·         Do what you are best at

•·         Priorities bring focus, manage priorities to maximize time.

•·         If you leave something on the table today, it won’t be there tomorrow

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision” – Helen Keller

Helen Keller spent her entire life in a dark and silent world.  Being both deaf and blind, she overcame and became an inspiration to millions.  Many of us who have the privilege of seeing take it for granted.  It’s really a two edged sword. Without our sight, we would miss every wonderful glory that God has painted in the colors of a sunset, the majesty of the stars, or the details in a blade of grass.  The flip side is that we tend to see distractions in every form.

Vision is essential to the creation of our future.  We will live according to vision, either ours or someone else’s.  What is it you want?  What is it that you were born to do?  What does this year hold for you?  What direction will you head?

Spirituality

“Believe in something larger than yourself.”

                                                                   -Barbara Bush

            In the previous article we mentioned the value of stability. Perceived or actual instability on our part will result in a sucking chest wound to not only the confidence your clients have in you, but also the confidence you have in yourself.  If you’re easily shaken, it will show.  We’ve found that the best remedy for maintaining a sense of stability and strength is to worship a “Higher Power”.   You must absolutely lean on something bigger than you.  It’s difficult to make money in real estate, much less prosper.  And in seasons of lack, whether it is performance or answers, we become all too aware of the fact that depending solely on ourselves is a fruitless endeavor.  Not only that, we also learn that although we need others, no one down here can serve as our savior.  All of us need certain things that our fellow humans are unable to provide.  Embrace God, and you’ll not only feel the effects in your life, you’ll see them as well.  We’ve found that the primary benefits of leaning on your Creator are:

1)         Personal Integrity:     All of the world’s major religions have a moral code of some sort. Whichever one you choose, it needs to be rooted in love and selflessness with integrity at its core.  Make no mistake, if you lack love in your life than you have nothing.  If you lack integrity, then you are nothing.  No matter what you accomplish in life, no matter who you become, anything rooted in anything but the truth is worthless.  Everyone lies, but few of us admit it later.  That’s integrity.  Everyone takes things from others (time, opportunity, etc.) but not everyone offers to compensate.  That’s character.  Your integrity will allow you to adhere to your code.   Your code is the key to your character.  And your character is your destiny.    

However, honesty is only part of integrity.  Being good at what you do is equally important.  Whatever you do – do it well, because others are counting on you.  If someone places their most precious asset (usually their home) in your hands, then what you’ve been charged with is no small thing.  Do everything possible to excel, for the sake of your clients as well as your company, and you’ll not only experience material success, but a sense of personal fulfillment as well.  And most importantly, if you can’t accomplish what you’ve been charged with, admit it and refer it out to someone who can.  The rewards won’t be immediate but they’ll be worth the wait.

2)         Recharging:               Before I chose to seek God, I would often suffer burnout alone and when I mustered enough energy, I’d immerse myself in hobbies or worse, eat in front of a television.  When I was finished with the futility of this approach a friend of mine asked; “When was the last time you went to church?”  Although I passed on the suggestion at the time, she certainly planted a seed.  Months later when I decided to give it a shot, I found that each week I went I walked away with more self-confidence. I discovered that it’s safe to be emotionally vulnerable around others.  There’s something very liberating in that.  Worshipping with others allows me to give up my burdens to my God in a responsible way. I’m now able to remain present and work with unpleasant circumstances because I know there’s a higher purpose to my problems.  I now understand that whatever I’m going through isn’t just about me, but also serves a purpose for everyone I’m connected to.  It’s good to know that I’m not alone and it’s even better to know that Someone is watching out for me.  With that said, after years of anxiety, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin.

3)         Selflessness:                In a market filled with difficult transactions and even more difficult people, it may seem like a tall order for you to give even more ground.  It’s a challenge to put others first.  Do it anyway.  If you put the client first, everything else falls into place.  Please trust us on this one.  Clients who’ve never even written offers have referred us to others who did, resulting in tens of thousands of dollars for our company.  This happened (and continues to happen) because we treat each client and prospect with the utmost respect.  Whatever the projected profit may be, everyone receives the same level of courtesy, due diligence, and professionalism.  If you make it a habit to put others first, you’ll see that “paying it forward” will eventually pay off.

4)         Guidance:                   Your business will also benefit immensely from divine guidance.  Tea leaves, so-called “psychics”, and mysticism won’t cut it.  We need hard answers.  The most useful answers are ones we don’t like to hear, but we need to hear nonetheless.  You’re not going to get that from psychics with neon signs in their windows.  Your own research no matter how comprehensive, won’t cut it either.  In the so-called “Information Age” we’re more confused and ill-informed than we’ve ever been.  The so-called “Information Superhighway” has resulted in a dead end, that is, unless you have limitless time to surf on the internet (which hopefully you don’t).  “Googling” anything more general than “Pre-World War I Underwater Welding” will result in hundreds of thousands of hits (even something that ridiculous yielded 15,400 results).  Either way, we’re almost too informed, and the information we do have, no matter how useful, is incomplete.  We also have to remember that although our problems aren’t unique, we certainly are.  How an agent should handle a certain listing is different than what another agent needs to do with the exact same listing.  We need guidance from a Source who knows us, loves us, and wants to see us do well.  Finding a good model, asking others for advice, and quality research is a good start.  But at the end of the day there are no formulas.  Only the voice of God can guide you along the path you need to take.  If it is from God it will not only serve your best interests, but also those of everyone involved.

            Spirituality is a touchy subject to address.  There’s a long tradition of freedom of religion in this country, in fact it’s the First Amendment to the Constitution.  But there’s a reason why our national motto is “In God We Trust”.  This country’s fought very hard (and continues to) for what we have.  As a people we know that we’re insufficient by ourselves of achieving any lasting sense of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”.  If we’re the bottom line to our existence, if our personal motto is “The Buck Stops Here”, then we’ll never live beyond ourselves.  We’ll never experience the finer things in life such as love, wisdom, and a legacy of charity.  We can’t take anything with us when we die, but we can sure leave things.  For most people it is debt or other unfinished business.  Be different.  Be remembered.  Be more than yourself.

“The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”

                                                -Matthew 7:25

“Stability” is defined as “steadfast or firm”.  Its origin is the word stabilis which literally means “difficult to overthrow”.  I like that one.  However, “stability” is not inflexibility when the situation has changed, nor is it an entrenched belief system.  A good analogy would be the foundations of earthquake-resistant buildings.  They’re not reliant on massive amounts of steel-reinforced concrete, but rather on rollers designed to absorb an earthquake’s energy and expel it in a certain direction (just not up into the building itself).  There’s also the parable of the oak and the willow.  When a massive storm blows through, the mighty oak lies shattered but the willow remains intact.  The bottom line is to bend but not give, and that will only come with experience and knowing whether or not you’re called to be a successful realtor.

The ugly truth is that some of us aren’t meant to be real estate agents.  Even if you are, you may’ve encountered substantial financial setback, lost your “edge”, or perhaps you’ve lost clients to the competition.  None of these things are indicative of whether or not you lack the mettle to make it in this industry.  What is telling, on the other hand, is your ability to withstand the pressures of not only difficult market conditions but also difficult (or demanding, however you look at it) clients.  If you’ve made it this far, we’d like to congratulate you; you’re better than most.  But survival isn’t your standard.  You must create momentum.  If you want to create momentum for this market (as well as the next one) you must master the four components of strength; Stability, Spirituality, Suffering, and Self-Awareness.  We’ll cover the last three in subsequent articles but for now we’ll deal with the value of Stability.

When we say that someone is “stable” we’re usually referring to their emotional state. Have you ever noticed that when someone snaps and does something harmful or bizarre, it’s often said that “He was such a good coworker/neighbor/family man”?  Have you also noticed that this is always said after the fact?  That’s because it’s impossible to separate your work life from your personal life.  We can’t compartmentalize our lives into neat little pie charts you see at personal growth seminars with slices dedicated to “family”, “religion”, etc.  All aspects of life flow into one another and are dependent on one another for success in each area.  Like the rollers of a building or the roots of a tree, a good foundation is composed of several components all working towards a common purpose; enabling and empowering you to be the best person you can be, both for yourself and those you serve.  If you can commit to the following four habits, you’ll be off to a good start.

1)         Physical Exercise:      The most effective and efficient way to lose body fat and “kick start” our brain is to conduct about 40 minutes of cardiovascular work first thing in the morning on an empty stomach (please consult with your doctor).  That way caloric expenditure will go right to your fat stores vs. having to first burn through your glycogen stores from eating throughout the day.  We also advocate weight training but not at the same time.  Unless you’re in great condition, this combo will wear you out.  Wait until late afternoon/early evening (that’s also when your physical strength is at its’ peak).  And by the way, “first thing in the morning” is anywhere from 4:00 to 6:00 A.M.  Trust us, it’ll give you a competitive edge knowing that you’re doing something that most people won’t and you’ll be confident and focused before you even get to the office.

2)         Community:   Have a group of like-minded individuals with whom you can share your hopes, successes, setbacks, and ongoing struggles.  We’re talking about honest and vulnerable communication, not merely venting to your spouse or dissociating with drinking buddies.  You can have get-togethers centered around an activity but remember the bottom line is support.  Also ensure that get-togethers are consistent, regularly scheduled, and have reliable participants who can keep you accountable without making you feel condemned or judged.  When you can be real around people just like you, you’ll realize that you’re not a space alien for having the problems you have.  On top of that, you’ll feel good about having the opportunity to minister to others.

3)         Finances:        We’re all paying for something we shouldn’t be. There are places we need to cut corners, it could be an extra car payment, excessive advertising for a listing, an addiction, or obsessive concern with our looks.  Whatever it is, it’ll take moral courage and confidence to put these things on the shelf or walk away from them altogether.  Whatever you’re spending money on, it’s all about return on investment, especially when it comes to your business.  Let’s take listings.  Have you ever had a client who insists that you pay for a spread in “Dream Homes”?  I don’t know about you, but the calls I’ve received from “Dream Homes” ads are from dreamers themselves.  These days when homes on the market sit for months at a time, it would behoove you to offer other solutions to listing clients, such as increased open houses, mailers, etc.  They need to see you work hard, not spend hard and they’ll be more impressed with the amount of personal attention and your availability than anything else. 

4)         Screen Out the Garbage:      Be very aware of what you eat, watch on television, or listen to… very aware.   Avoiding sugars and starches is obvious but find out what diet or supplements work for you.  Many studies show that a “Ketogenic Diet” (low carbohydrates, higher levels of protein and fat) is superior to most other diets when it comes to maintaining higher levels of alertness and concentration.  You’d be surprised how much mood is affected by what you put in your body.  Also, be careful what you put before your eyes.  Most visual media is of little value.  Speaking as a man, most “men’s shows” and magazines aren’t showing boys how to become men, they’re showing them how to become older boys.  Finally, always remember that words spoken out loud have immense power.  Have you ever heard the expression “Music soothes the savage beast”?  It’s absolutely true but it can also work in the opposite direction.  It’s been known for centuries that there’s a very strong correlation between music and emotion.  In a study conducted on several Alcoholics Anonymous groups, it was found that almost all of the people who failed to stay sober continued to listen to “death metal” and “gangster rap”.  We’re not advocating prudish censorship, just watch the lyrics.  As Hitler proved, the more you listen to a message, the more likely it will settle in your heart, no matter how obscene or outrageous.

            Before you can offer anything to anyone else, you have to show others that you can be counted on.  You also have to show this to yourself because the very first source of doubt will come from your inner self, not others.  If you can apply yourself consistently in the areas mentioned above, you’ll not only be well on your way, you’ll get there sooner than you think.